October 7: What is something you keep saying you don’t care about that you actually care about deeply?
— I think I care more about being chosen than I would like to admit. I tell myself that I don't need anyone's validation, that I'm old enough to know my worth, that I should be okay with people loving me in whatever ways they can. I tell myself that I don't care whether people notice my efforts, whether they remember the little things about me, or whether I'm someone they would choose to keep around.
But maybe I do care.
I want to be loved without having to prove that I'm worth loving. I want someone to stay without me having to make myself indispensable. I want to know that even on days when I have nothing to offer, when I'm not being a good friend or a good daughter or a good teacher, I'm still someone worth choosing.
(Because I'm not even on his choices, damn haha)
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